Things I Definitely Do Not Like
Soooo, the last blog was about things I like or that make me happy.  Now I figured I'd go ahead and do a quick list of things that I dislike or annoy me.  HAH here it goes:

~When people (usually girls but I suppose it could be guys too) have their thongs showing.  Call me old fashioned but I like to leave a little bit to the imagination.  All that does is scream "I want attention" and yet I still see it all the time.

~The fact that Harry Dresden is not a real person.  (Read the Dresden Files series of books by Jim Butcher if you're confused.  These books are so awesome).

~People who talk on their cell phones while using a public restroom.  I doubt anybody wants to hear you dropping a deuce.  Seriously.  One of these days I'm going to shout out something to embarrass them.

~People who fart in elevators...That's not right.  I"m serious.  You think I don't know it was you when you were the only one in there?  *sigh*

~When people say Anthropologists/Archaeologists study dinosaurs.....*face palm* NO they don't.  I had an argument once with a girl who insisted that Anthropologists/Archaeologists studied dinosaurs and she kept telling me I was wrong.  I HAVE A DEGREE IN ANTHROPOLOGY. I would think I'm aware of what they study. *loud sigh* Don't get me wrong, I was obsessed with dinosaurs when I was little.  I mean, really obsessed.  Eventually though, I wanted to study people instead. 

~When people call chimpanzees/gibbons/gorillas/orangutans...and refer to humans as monkeys.  APES we're freaking APES. There is a big difference.  This happens so often that I've tried very hard to ignore it but it's difficult when you've spent years going to school for something where this is beaten into your brain.  Here's a huge clue: If the primate has a tail, then it is a monkey....if not then it is an ape.  If they just have a little tuft instead of where a long tail would be....once again, it's an ape not a monkey.

~No 3rd season of Flight of the Conchords.  I think this is depressing.

~The fact that my best friend and I do not have a time machine.  There are so many people we'd like to visit back when they were a little younger ;)

~The fact that I have never seen David Bowie live....this needs remedied.

~The fact that all the foods I like are horrible for you and make you fat haha.  Including cheesecake O_o

~When your dog "dutch ovens" you when you're trying to sleep.  Yes, my dog does this.  He's too damn smart.

Anyway, there's thousands of things I don't like but I can't think of anymore right now to put on here. 
I'm sure this gives you a sense of who I am at least a little haha. 

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A List of Things I Like
Now, I'm a pretty cynical person at times, especially as I get older.  However, I decided I'll make a little list of things that I actually like or can make me happy.  So, here are a few of those things:

~Friends and family (an obvious one I suppose, it's pretty much a required like when you win an Oscar and you always say "I wanna thank the Lord, my family...etc. etc.") Nah, I do love them ^_^

~Fireworks (the actual stuff that blows up with pretty colors...not the Katy Perry song in case you were confused).


~Reading (books usually)...OK, I read stupid celebrity gossip crap too what can I say?

~Terrible jokes (i.e. two peanuts walking down the was a salted)....

~The sound of drums....especially if the person beating on them actually knows how to use them.

~Cooking out on a grill...this is pretty much the only way I can eat a hot dog...why do people boil them?  O_o

~Visiting historical locations/sites...This one seems like it should be pretty in Anthropology? Check....back in school to teach History......check...obsession with historical documentaries? Check.....can't stop watching infomercials when they're on...wait, no that's not right.

~Sparkly things....except vampires for God's sake.  The only time I want to see a vampire "sparkle" is when I light them on fire.

~When technology actually works...I know, it's so elusive but when it happens it's the same kind of reaction as the double rainbow guy (at least for me).....that's if I didn't break it before it actually started to work again..............*crickets*

~Watching movies...especially really bad ones that make me laugh.

~Music...ya know, I don't know a single person who doesn't like music. 

~Not having a headache...this one is crucial to happiness.

~Food...seems essential...there's a whoooole bunch of foods I love which is a blog post all on its own.

~Expensive makeup even when I don't wear it very often (it's an addiction, leave me alone!)

~Dogs with squishy faces and big ears
~Dogs in general
~Ok, most animals....I have what I call the Ace Ventura gene....I need to write a separate blog on that. can that not be full of happiness (and lots of calories)?

~I guess laughing should be on this list too.  I generally enjoy doing that. 

~People who are really organized.....because I'm not one of those people.

~Office supplies/School supplies....What? Is that weird?

~Nail polish

~Foreign accents...I swear I love hearing people talk when they have different accents. 

~My ginourmous Star Wars mug that I like to drink hot chocolate from.
~Hot Chocolate

~Googly eyes (I feel that every inanimate object should have at least one set of googly eyes)

~Grape Soda

~Bad...and I mean baaaaad, 80s movies.

~The smell of Scotch tape....What is that weird too? I don't know why....shut up, leave me alone.

~Science Fiction/Fantasy.....yeah yeah I'm a freaking geek.  You're so jealous.

~   <----That. All I can say is I'm mesmerized.

I'm sure as soon as I post this I'll think of thousands of other things to add but I think that's enough for now...I suppose I can always go back and make another post in the future about new things that amuse me.  Don't worry, I have a whole list of things I can't stand to post one of these days too! So that's a warning to be prepared ;)


<----Love these things...I need to get some so I can put them on things. 
Apparently My Dog Is A Complete Wuss.
(Napoleon, courtesy of my cell phone)

Apparently my beloved French Bulldog, Napoleon, likes to puss out when we bust out the shooting games on the xbox 360.  Yep, while my husband has been playing Gears of War, Gears of War 2 (which I played too until I kept getting blown up into pieces, but it was fun while it lasted), Call of Duty: Black Ops, Halo:Reach, Halo: ODST, etc, etc....the dog decides to crawl into my lap, curl up as small as a 25 pound dog with huge ears can, and then proceed to shake.  I swear he channels his inner chihuahua (I've never seen a dog shake in sheer terror like a chihuahua can).  He looks at me with a sad look like the gunfire is actually going on in our bedroom in real life.  I mean, I'd probably crap myself too if it was but it's just games.
(An example of Napoleon pussing out)

  Of course, he's a dog, and while French Bulldogs are ridiculously smart (trust me, my dog is TOO smart), they don't know that it's completely fake.  Although, the volume isn't even all that loud.  Still, I'm disappointed that I named him Napoleon and then he goes and pusses out like a little bitch.  Oh well, he's still ridiculously cute and a complete and total snuggle butt so I guess I'll cut him some slack.  That is if I give him a banana (one of his favorite treats of all time, that he'd kill a man for).  I guess he thinks he's a big, bad dog until the guns start firing.

(another photo...also courtesy of my cell phone)


Awesome games that might make your dog want to shit him/herself:

Not Down With The Sickness
Ugh! I feel like crawling into a dark hole somewhere and coughing up at least one if not both of my lungs right now.  I probably look like I could be an extra on The Walking Dead (which I SHOULD be dammit!!).  I will blame this on my husband mainly because he was sick before me (or at least had symptoms).  It makes me so mad when he gets sick because he usually gets over it quickly and with a lot less problems.  I on the other hand, get this gross, horrible, ridiculously annoying bronchitis thing going on.  Thankfully I've never had it turn into pneumonia, seeing as I already have asthma to make me more miserable.  It's just not helpful to float around in a fog from Mucinex all day long when I need to be studying/reading junk for my classes that just started up.  The snow is bad enough, I don't need to be wheezing and coughing on people while also slipping on the damn ice.  Aaaaaanyway, hopefully I'll come up with an amusing or witty blog soon when I have full function of my respiratory system again.

<---They need me in Season 2, they just don't realize it so they haven't called.



<---------That right there, helps this crappy cough.  Just so you know.
Public Restroom 101: Stop Being Nasty
You know what really grosses me out?  A lot of things but many of them have to do with what I observe (not that I'm actually LOOKING at anybody) have to do with public bathrooms.  Now, being a woman, I wouldn't know a great deal about what the Men's room would look like but I feel that women have a serious lack of knowledge on how to use a public restroom properly. I guess what I'm really getting at is, have some freaking courtesy when using them.  Other people have to go in after you and do their business.  I would hope people would want a relatively clean experience while doing what needs to be done in there, so how about not leaving a disgusting mess?  I am starting to believe that there needs to be a 101 class on how to use a public bathroom.  I mean really?  What is wrong with you people?  I know that for many, this is an embarrassing and uncomfortable topic but I am going to give you some tips to help make EVERYONE have a better experience when they can't wait until they get home to do their business.

1.  The courtesy flush....Now, I've never met a single human being whose shit did not stink.  Quit fooling yourself.  You certainly aren't fooling me if I'm in the stall next to you.  With that being said, it's a natural thing and nobody can get away with NOT doing it (unless they are ill).  But be a sweetheart and flush once in awhile to help minimize the possibility that I am going to gag while trying to pee in the stall next to you. 

2.  Flush the damn toilet...Countless times I have gone into a public bathroom and there is at least one toilet that has a disgusting mess in it or evidence that some nasty ass person just didn't flush.  Ok, first and foremost, that is freaking disgusting and second, you should be ashamed of yourself to be that gross.  Just flush the damn thing so nobody else has to look at what you ate earlier.  Thank you very much.

3.  Clean the hell up after yourself...I don't know how many people know this statistic but Hepatitis (as in B and C) can live for up to 7 days in a single drop of blood.  Ladies, I think you know what I'm getting at here.  We all have to deal with that friendly little visitor once a month and chances are you'll end up having to use a public restroom at one time or another with said visitor.  Don't leave that shit on the toilet seat.  I can't even count how many times I've gone into a stall and seen that.  Why should I have to clean up something like that?  Clean that stuff up if you see you made a mess.  It's courteous and a hell of a lot safer for others.
           *If you are a woman who goes into a stall with that on it, I would highly recommend you use a different one....see above statistic about Hepatitis. 

4.  Wash your freaking hands...I don't care how many companies make hand sanitizer, when you use the restroom, wash them. WITH SOAP AND WARM WATER.  Hand sanitizer is not a cure all.  There are some times that you should actually wash your hands and after using the bathroom is one of them.  Yeah, I know that they claim to kill something like 99.something percent of all germs blah blah blah.  Notice it is not 100%? Also, if you have debris on your hands or under your nails, that makes it harder for the hand sanitizer to even get to all of it.  Just be a dear and wash with the standard soap and water.  Also, I know this is not the place you want to hang around for any longer than you have to but you should wash them for at the very least for the time it takes for you to either sing the alphabet song or twinkle twinkle little star....

I hope this little bit of advice helps.  Otherwise, quit being gross.

And it begins again
For those that care, classes started up again so it might take a few days for me to get the energy to write a decent post. I hope everyone is having a good week. It's cold here but personally, I'd rather be cold than hot...that's just me though. It makes me miss Ohio even more. I suppose WV isn't THAT bad......I actually do enjoy Marshall University. After graduating from Ohio State, I like the smaller classes where professors actually remember your name. Anyway, good day to you all :) Adios.


The Kitten and His Catch
Ok, so one day back when I was at Ohio State, I was on my way to the main library with my fiance (now my husband) and we saw this tiny little kitten.  It was so cute and it made me incredibly sad that I couldn't take it home with me.  I felt so horrible and wished there was something I could do.  I was afraid it would end up dead for one reason or another and it was already late fall and cold as balls.  So I thought about that poor little kitty and hoped I didn't go back and find it dead somewhere near the library.  Well, on another day when I had to hike over to the same library with the same fiance (who is still my husband), we saw the same kitten.  This time, however, he had a large dead bunny in his mouth.  I mean, I say bunny but this was not little by any stretch of the imagination.  This was a full grown rabbit.  It was bigger than the kitten, and yet this kitten was walking around with it in his mouth like it was no big deal to carry something twice its body weight.  I turned to my now husband and simply said something along the lines of "well shit, I guess I don't feel so bad now, that thing can definitely take care of itself."  I have no idea if the kitten actually killed the rabbit or if he stumbled across a lucky find with the rabbit already dead.  I like to imagine that the kitten jumped out from behind a bush and roared at it and then proceeded to slaughter it like some sort of Spartan warrior or something.  I'm pretty sure that there's some sort of great message here, like even those who appear small or weak can kick your chubby ass or something.  I don't know.  I just thought the kitten with his ginormous catch was awesome.  So there you have it.

I swear this picture looks just like that kitten....who knows, maybe it IS.  But you get the idea.  That kitten was a warrior and badass.

A four month old feral kitten eating an adult ...Image via Wikipedia

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Things That Creep Me Out
The hamster from user Lucas hamsterImage via Wikipedia
I'm pretty sure everyone has at least one thing that creeps them the hell out.  I have a pretty decent list of things that would fall into that category.  So here's some of the things that either weird me out, creep me out or cause a chill to run down my spine (not listed in any particular order):

-Mustaches (on people who can't quite grow a nice full/burly one).  Personally, I think it makes you look like a rapist of the pedophile variety.

-Vans with no windows (other than the front ones, obviously).  Does this not scream serial killer/crazy rapist to anybody else?  Yeah, I thought so.

-Spandex.  Is there a single person this material even looks good on? No, the answer is no.

-Robots.  The terminator still scares the shit out of me.  I don't know what I'd do if one actually showed up.

-Elevators.  I have recurring nightmares where I'm in one and it either wont let me out or it tilts in some weird way.  I'm not sure why I have them but I do.  I've never been on one that malfunctioned but apparently my mind still doesn't like them.

-Boats/Ships.  I saw the damn movie Poseidon Adventure (the original, not the remake, Poseidon, because why the hell would I want to watch something that terrifying with even better special effects?) Hell to the no.  I've also watched Titanic (as if we didn't already know the ending going into it.) I was forced to go see it, against my will.  I am absolutely terrified of ships.  I don't even really like going on to ones that are actually docked let alone out where you can't see any land. O_o

-Bodies of Water other than a pool.  If I can't see what the hell is swimming around me wanting to eat me or tear off at least some part of me, nope, don't think so!

-The Human Centipede.......I have NOT seen it, but I know what it's about.  I don't know why my mind keeps trying to work it out in terms of how it could actually be done.  Ugh.  I haven't seen Two Girls/One Cup either and it makes me sick to think about.  What the hell is wrong with people?

-Things that hiss. Have you ever seen a goose hiss? It's terrifying.  They will straight up kill a man. 

-Hamsters because they're friggin' evil.  Other than the cute little things you buy them that they'll chew the hell through, they are out for blood.  Make no mistake about it, they will slaughter a human being and drain them of their blood.  I'm not kidding.  Never let your child have one of these.  Give them a shark or a rabid raccoon....I repeat DO NOT let your child have a hamster!  I warned you.  Just remember that when you're crying in the emergency room hoping they will reattach your arm for you.

-Tentacles.  OMG do I even need to explain?
    -Especially the 3rd right tentacle of a male octopus.  Trust me.  You don't want that thing near you.

-Anything with more than 4 legs.  Just no. Keep that shit away from me. I don't care if it's covered in chocolate or that it's dead.  Don't think so.

-Feet.  Because they're freaking disgusting. 

So anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little list of terrifying things.  I'm serious about the hamsters!

Have a great day!

Hugs, Tiff

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(Nonconsensual) what the butt? That's what being an adult feels like sometimes.
Son of a....
You ever get the feeling that nothing ever goes right in your life? That is how I've been feeling lately.  I just had my windshield replaced a few months back and now I have another crack in the new one because a stupid ginormous truck threw a rock at me when I was driving home not too long ago.  To make matters worse, my husband has a giant crack in HIS windshield.  I swear, the universe is conspiring against me to force me into insanity.  Ugh.  Just when I wanted to buy my husband an Xbox 360 for Christmas, there's a bunch of adult/responsibility type crap I have to deal with.  I probably wish I was a kid again at least 70 times a day.  Who the hell wants to be responsible anyway? In all fairness to adulthood, I certainly wouldn't be able to drink mimosas for New Year's if I were still a child.  Also, I hate having to ask permission for anything, not to mention I don't like to be told what to do.  So, sometimes being an adult has its advantages....but right now it blows.  


<----That's what being an adult prevents me from having at the moment! Ohhh but it will be mind.  I have a Wii but we end up using it more for Netflix than for playing games....unless of course we're killing zombies playing House of the Dead.  That's something I can get into.